The Theory of Your Ten Best Songs

ok so for this i want my followers to post-
1-Fav song
2-a song to smile to
3-a song you enjoy with somebody
4-a song you relax to
5-a background song while you-get ready to go out/have dinner to etc
6-a song you listen to before a go out-to prepear yourself
7-a song you listen to in the bath/shower
8-a song you automatically go for on the jukebox
9-a song from your fav film
and last, but most important-a song that reminds you of me

Theory of Really Don't Push My Fucking Buttons Over the Next Couple of Weeks

Things that should be noted whilst dealing with me in the next couple of weeks to reassure that my rants don't get to the-"Shit, Rik just got arrested/sectioned" stage
1-Don't think in the slightest that it is soon enough for you two arseholes to openly talk to each other.(you know who you are)
2-Tescos better fix my fucking TV soon without it affecting my day in the slightest. taking over the world aye but not efficiently!
3-Don't be a fucking idiot/lazy/"riks a push over" twat towards me at work-things DON'T take 3 minutes
4-Don't comment ont the amount of swearing in this blog.It is needed
5-Do dress a little less (its getting warmer)-that goes to girls AND guys.No more Naked Rik I want Naked People
6-Be drunk!-I hate sober people. They always know whats happening and I don't trust that
7-Be offensive

Theory of Rushing

Don't rush,take your sweet ass time.
It's the 21st century, let technology do the work-
getting somewhere-walking!pah! transport(car,taxi,bus plane boat etc)
entertainment-Dont rush to buy tickets to gigs or the theatre!pah! -Sky hd 3d plus,plus 1,Freeview,DVDs for 3 pound in tesco,PS3 and that other one X chromozone thing.Nintendo Wii 3DSXLi Fit
I learnt my lessons from rushing-
1- In December i fell down the concrete staircase from running down it
2-Tonight I was rushing to tescos and hopped over a fence, fresly painted green, with my nice new cream jumper on.
3-And i spose theres a bunch of meaningful "Don't rush" things to say, but hell, make your own mistakes

theory of things that take 3 minutes

things that may take 3 minutes in my life are things such as-
A 3 minute jog
A drinking game
A 3 minute cycle
Sex on a good day
A 3 minute triathalon
A song
A microwavable meal from tesco
things that may take more than 3 minutes in my life-
prawn cocktails
sex on a bad day
A 20 minute jog
A game of fifa
A long Drinking game
Americans to realise the world hates them
And....COMBOS

the Theory of Underappriciation

You ever thought of the valve that changes your water between hot and cold?
You ever thought of the hindge that helps you enter and exit area?
You ever thought of how offended Jack Daniels feels when you assault him with coke?
No.....
Well thats cause your a bunch of incosiderate bastards!And thats a good thing because the 21st century has became too P.C.
i'm scared to call someone white incase i offend them!
pale faced bastards
i dont see 24000 united fans gettin sacked for trying to give the linesman advice
and as for the french,well they can just*due to the 21st century, what was originally written on 'The Richard McCaig Blog of Epicity' can not be shown due to risk of offence.
frog eating, razor allergic, surrender monkeys!and as for the americans...

The Theory of Relativity

If i say something. It is relative
If i do something. It is relative
If i get so drunk i say and do something that i shouldnt have done. Thats not relative, just funny
If i rant. It is relative
And even if this is all i can think of for my first blog entry in 3 weeks guess what.....

ITS STILL GODDAM RELATIVE

FACT

Theory of this blog

like guiness its worth the wait.
to my humble followers morri,ross,stuart,grant spose amanda
never again will i leave it so long.
its almost 2011, in chinese 2011 is the year of the Rik.true story
this post isnt the greatest but im about to start drinkin.give it an hour or two
on my blog i can say "sup niggas" cos i watch black comedy